I’m happy for you :)
It kinda sucks that the separation came two years before the actual leaving. We could’ve had two great years together but now we’d never know. We never had that chance. It was love, but it was bliss. A flash. It left as swiftly as it came. And all that’s left are what ifs that would (I’ll be honest here) haunt me (or maybe even you, but then maybe not) forever.
Because really, what if? What if we put up with what’s happening then? What if we could do it? What if we could’ve lasted and all we needed to do was to hold on to what we had then? But then we both let go.. What if it’s only meant to happen to me (or us, who knows) only once but then I (or we, again who knows) lost that one chance because we gave up too soon? So many questions that will never be answered.
Add the thought of the possibility of you not coming back home anymore. I guess I’ve always thought one way or another you could still be a part of my life. But then I never pictured that possibility happening with you at the other side of the world so…
Everything’s hanging without assurance or answers or closures.
But then again, if you’re happy there, if you’re enjoying the experiences you’re having there, then I’m happy for you. I think I can bear all these uncertainties if I could just know, if I could just be sure that being there is making you happy. I love(d) you enough not to begrudge you that.
And who knows, maybe the day would come when I’d also finally be able to just forget about all the questions I want answered, let go of the baggage of the past and just leave. Forget. Move. Onwards.